Self-Blame and Taking Responsibility
Article by Michael J. Formica
Self-blame: The Ultimate Emotional Abuse
We typically hear a great deal about loving-kindness in the faith traditions, like Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, as well as in the spiritual and para-spiritual communities. While we are commonly counseled to extend loving-kindness to others, we often fail in first extending it to ourselves; that frequently comes in the form of self-blame.
You, yourself, as much as anyone else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha
One factor that significantly contributes to our system of self-blame is the failure to recognize our own humanity. We are, on the one hand, perfect beings. On the other hand, we are very much human beings – perfect in spirit, not so perfect in our humanness. Yet, rather than holding space or acknowledging this abiding double-edged aspect of the human condition, we often dwell in the illusion of our perfectionism or, at the very least, our need to be right.
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Dealing with self blame vs. personal responsibility is something of much talk this days. What about you? What are your thoughts on this article? Do you struggle to go too far one way or another? Why do you think that is? How do you think you could change that?