Worry Much? Take a Minute And Imagine Living for Today
The following requires an open mind and an unabashed use of imagination. A glimpse of what it would feel like if your brain could not recall your past, nor formulate any speculations of the future.
6:00 am. You wake up to the sound of your alarm. You stretch your arm out to the bedside table that holds all of the things you use the most. A watch, a lamp, a water bottle, some chap stick, maybe your favorite pair of earrings, maybe a wallet stuffed with small denomination bills and useless receipts. Your phone. Your precious chunk of metal and silicon blaring the sounds that interrupt your slumber. You gingerly grab your phone and press snooze.
6:05 am. You reach once again for your phone and turn the alarm off. Those extra five minutes felt good. You deserved it.
You get up off your bed and stretch away the grogginess of laying down in a cozy lump of blankets for 8 hours straight. The sun is shining through your window which reminds you of the flowers on your balcony that you must water.
You pace over to the bathroom and fill up the watering can. As you take a peek at yourself in the mirror, you realize that life can’t be that bad if the first thing you do in the morning is to water your lovely plants. So you proceed to do so, basking a few minutes in the warm morning sunlight. Deep breath. Gotta take a shower now.
6:15 am. The shower. The place where you over think about everything and anything. The place where you solve your dilemmas, make decisions, find some resolve. While you let the lukewarm water run through your hair you notice something big. Something you wouldn’t have noticed anywhere else but in the shower. For once, you’re not mentally prepping for the day ahead. For once you’re not thinking about that person in your social circle that keeps being rude to you for no reason and how you’re going to have to face them eventually. You’re not thinking about the long line at the bank you eventually will have to go visit to pay your bills. You’re not thinking about that really hurtful thing some family member said to you the day before.
What is this?! Why can’t you remember any of it? It suddenly dawns on you that you have no recollection of your past, nor inhibitions of your future. You instantly begin to freak out, a billion thoughts rushing through you and out of you at the same moment. Wait a minute.
6:24 am. A small gut feeling tells you this isn’t a bad thing. You actually feel sort of….free. You no longer feel the weight of the past, but you remember the important things that has led your life to this very moment. You feel…grateful.
You know exactly what to do at the present moment, but you don’t really stress about the outcome. Or anything that may come for that matter. You realize, now that you have no other choice, that you can’t change the past nor worry about the future.
You resolve to go forth with the day with as much enthusiasm you can muster!
6:32 am. Out of the shower. As you begin getting dressed, you find yourself dancing and singing along to your “feel good” playlist. (I know you got one). You find that your favorite shirt is clean and decide to fix yourself up for today. You notice that everything you’re doing, every small decision comes with ease. No pressure with how you look, you feel like you’re the mirror image of the joy growing inside of you.
“WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS?!” you scream ecstatic at no one in particular. For once in a really long time you feel carefree and not in a destructive way.
7:03 am. Breakfast. Hungry, you grab a few things from the fridge. As you prep your food you notice that not only are you making something yummy, but it’s actually quite healthy if you compare it to the opened boxes of pop tarts and sugary cereal in you cupboard.
7:41 am. You’re off to work in your car sipping on your coffee at every stop light. Going through traffic feels like a breeze. Your favorite songs magically play on the radio. WOW! The universe seems to be in your favor today. Not once have you thought about the ton of pending paperwork and emails waiting for you at your desk.
8:05 am. You’re sitting at your desk. You feel really really good. You greeted all of your coworkers with a smile, which they heartwarmingly returned. You think to yourself that these people should all smile more. Even “that” person you know dislikes you to an unknown degree, doesn’t seem so awful today.
You feel light and giddy. You go through your work with ease and an infinite patience you didn’t know you possessed. Time seems to be going fast and slow at the same time. You enjoy every minute and everything flows with ease.
“Time. What is time?” you ask yourself. You begin to feel like time is irrelevant. Only an illusion, merely a tool to function in society.
Suddenly its 5:00 pm. Time to leave work. You practically skip to your car, wishing everyone a good evening.
After good-naturedly going through with the errands you had to do, you decide to go see your best friend in the whole while world. You NEED to share these good vibes with them. As you’re with him/her, you feel eternally grateful for their existence.
You begin to have a rush of thoughts that help you connect every event of your life that brought you to this very moment. You’re grateful for your very existence, and you realize that in fact it’s a collection of past events that brought you to this present instant in space and time. Even though you can’t explain it, you feel as if you would never change a thing in your past. You can’t even remember it. “So this is what forgiveness feels like”, you quietly mutter to your best friend.
Later on, you have dinner with the people you most love. As you look at each of their faces you know deep down inside that they fill your soul with love and laughter. You recognize the virtues in each loved one which makes your appreciate them much much more. Why hadn’t you noticed these things before?! Before you leave you make sure they all know you love them and even though a few look at you strange, they smile and you know that it has moved them if only a little bit.
Your day has passed and it seems like a dream within a dream. You go back home feeling tired but happy. You take a moment to sit quietly and reflect. You notice how many emotions and epiphanies you’ve had. You did everything you had to do with a before unknown ease and grace. You feel as if you cherished every passing moment and truly lived in the present. You recognize the gift you were given this day, no anxieties from the past nor future.
It felt like a magnanimous relief to not worry about the things you couldn’t even begin to control. You ponder “why have I lived my life this whole time struggling over control of the future but remaining conditioned by my past?”
Today you have proved to yourself that:
- You are not your past, thus you must not be conditioned by it.
- The only way you can control the future is my making the most of today.
- When you enjoy today, you can’t help but feel grateful for every passing moment and experience.
You drift off to deep, blissful sleep. You wake up the next morning light, burden free. You realize that now you can remember all of your past which doesn’t lay hidden in your subconscious. You also have a notion of what you want your future to be. You recognize how ground breaking and soul shaking yesterday was, slightly sad that today you might not feel the same.
Wait a minute. If you learned anything, you learned that you can chose. Yesterday you couldn’t, it just happened. Today, you can choose to live in the present moment. To use your past as an educational experience. To use your choices today to forge your reality. To be grateful for every moment, because for every moment you have had the opportunity to make it whatever you want it to be.
So you cast off your worries, confident in your new found power, and you go forth triumphant ready to conquer each day!
Every new day is another chance to change your life, START living for today.