Have you ever wondered how some people are able to overcome incredible adversity, while others remain stuck, defeated, and struggling to handle failure?
There is a common thread between the “rags to riches” and underdog stories of victory.
What’s the common thread?
– A resilient spirit and ability to bounce back from failure.
– A determination to learn and get better instead of getting bitter.
A resilient person is tough, they don’t give up and they find ways to get through the obstacles they face.
Whatever you are going through, you have the option of whether to give up and give in, or to push through the pain and difficulty.
If you don’t have the grit and resiliency you would like, it is because your “thoughts” are leaving you filled with resistance, fear, judgment, or doubt.
Notice what keeps you from persevering and staying committed to your dreams. It’s your thoughts, isn’t it?
Fortunately you can learn to think in ways that help you persevere and never give up!
It’s time to think more optimistically, focus on learning and growth, and look for opportunity instead of problems.
It’s time to stop the failure thinking, and start thinking and living like a winner.
Here are some thoughts to avoid so you can transcend the hell out of failure.
1. “I already know everything I need to know.”
Often the most stubborn people struggle with failure and setbacks. When we assume we already know everything there is to know it makes it difficult to understand why we aren’t succeeding.
How to reframe: People are always learning. If something isn’t working for me, there is probably another way to look at things. I am constantly learning each and every day.
“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few. ” ― Shunryu Suzuki
2. “I don’t need help from anyone. I can do this on my own.”
When we are unwilling to seek out and accept the help of others we are basically deciding to learn the hard way. We all need help from others, whether it’s emotional support or actual resources. No one made it to the top without the help of others.
How to reframe: It is okay to ask for and accept help from others. It is actually more courageous to seek help than to deny I have a problem. Getting assistance from others is a necessary step in reaching my potential.
3. “I should always be in control.”
If there is one thing constant in life it’s change. There are many things out of our control and learning to accept what we cannot change is pivotal in overcoming life’s obstacles. Learning to let go allows us to live with greater peace of mind.
How to reframe: I am adaptable and able to change along with my circumstances. I will focus on what I can control and accept what I cannot change.
4. “If I fail it means I’m a failure.”
There is a big difference between making a mistake and failing to reach a desired outcome, and actually viewing ourselves as a “failure.” We will fail but that is a part of the process. Who we are doesn’t change because of our mistakes.
How to reframe: I may not like to fail but it is inevitable and I can find the silver lining. When I fail, I will learn what I can do different next time. I will use failure as my teacher.
“Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.” – Lily Tomlin
5. “I’m not smart enough, old enough, rich enough… (You fill in the excuse).”
There could be countless reasons why you’re not ready or prepared to achieve your goals. Notice your excuses. Determine what limiting beliefs are holding you back and realize the lies you are telling yourself.
Reframe: I may not have the ideal circumstances but I will use what I have and be the best I can be. I will stop making excuses and following beliefs that don’t serve me.