5 Proven Reasons Why Our New Years Resolutions Fail
We all know what it’s like to get super excited about the new year ahead and set some pretty lofty goals for the year, only to fall off in the first month or two, sometimes even within weeks. Because it’s a new year, we expect it to be a new us! Magically shifting age old patterns in our lives in the blink of an eye. If it were only that simple…
I’ve been there, that’s why I’ve created this helpful guide to help you traverse those possible pitfalls and win like never before!
Did you know that only an average of 4% of people actually keep their New Years resolutions? I’ll admit, hearing that made me feel better about it, but made me curious and it lead me to do some research as to why we fall so short of our goals.
Here’s some reasons why we have such a hard time creating new habits along with some great ways to keep on track this year!
1) We Focus on the End Result
We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.” Well, this is all too perfect for the message we must remember here. When we focus solely on the result, the transformation, the overnight success, we loose track and lose pace. We get obsessed with having what we desire and completely forget to take into consideration how we are going to get there.
The key is to really take into consideration how you are going to get there. Take some time to plan out what you can do consistently to maintain or head toward your desired goals. What can you do on the daily to reach your goals? Baby steps are the way! The truth is, your life is a result of what you do on a daily basis. This means that everyday, you must take action and stick to the roadmap that you have planned out to get you to your goals.
2) We Create Timelines Not Habits
When we aren’t seeing results right away, many times we just give up, saying to ourselves, “We’ll, I tried but I don’t feel like I’m making a difference so what’s the use?” The trick is to create new habits, not definitive timelines. When we don’t reach our goals in the time set for ourselves, we feel like failures. While in reality, we have made progress. It takes a minimum of 21 days to create a new habit, it takes even longer when we are experiencing resistance to what we are trying to accomplish. So, really make a pact with yourself and don’t give up, those results are just around the corner from where you may have stopped short.
3) We Focus on What We Aren’t, Don’t Want or Don’t Have
Just like the ever so telling quote from Carl Jung, “What we resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” Want begets want and lack creates lack. These are Universal laws. When we are focusing our precious energy on what we don’t have, desperately wanting something, or how we don’t want to be, we are basically telling the Universe to give us more of that. Because what you focus on grows, it’s the law of attraction.
When you really desire something, first believe you can have it, then visualize having it, then you let it go, stop holding onto it with a vice grip. Then there’s the missing piece that so many teachings forget to mention….now you must take action! Start doing the things that are congruent with your desires. Did you decide for your New Years resolution that you’re going to step into a new fulfilling career? Start seeing what’s out there, put in some resumes, take a class in the field you’re looking to enter into, write a post on FB, let your friends know! Anything that is taking you in the direction of your desires. Let the Universe know that you’re ready and then she can start working her magic.
4) We Keep Playing Out Our Old Stories
We truly are creatures of habit and we will keep playing out those old stories again and again. Our beliefs about ourselves and the world are writing our current story. It’s time to rewrite your story. Your habitual thoughts, actions and beliefs are what create your current life story. The more you think, do or believe something, it creates neuro pathways in your brain and they get deeper and the more second nature they become. This is the biggest reason we fall off, because we fall back into our old neuro pathways aka, our old habits.
We must create new ones and it’s all about repetition! Just like how the banks of a river are created from the water flowing through it day after day, year after year, so are the neuro pathways that guide our habitual thoughts, actions and beliefs. If you believe you are the kind of person who is terrible at being on time, you will continue being late to everything. What if you decided to rewrite that part of your story and told yourself that you are always on time, or even 10 minutes early to everything?
You could start believing that you always have time to spare. This practice is all about repetition, the more you do it, the deeper the grooves become and the more natural the actions become. Become the writer of your life story and watch miracles manifest!
5) We Rely On Willpower to Keep Our Resolutions
The problem with relying on your willpower is that it is everchanging. Some days you have a willpower of steel and others you want to eat the whole chocolate cake. Why are we relying on something that is in a constant state of flux to be the captain of our ship when on the quest to keep our resolutions? This is not a solid way to create change.
It’s time to steer our ship another way. It’s time to start navigating through our core values. When we find what is truly important to us, we course correct and find a new navigation system. Do you find it really important for others to keep their word when they tell you they are going to do something? Do you keep your word with others?
It’s time to turn the mirror onto ourselves. If something is a core belief that you live by, start living by it yourself. Use your core beliefs and values as your newfound navigating system and watch your life head in the direction of your desires.
Photo by lifehack.org